Trojan Guards

Seems like the most colorful stories from history of humanity were invented either by malice or incompetence. Only later to become great analogies for events in real life. The story of Trojan Horse is one of those. Troy or no Troy, just how big would it have to be to fit all those warriors inside? How heavy? How did they moved it on rough terrain, on wheels that at the time had no axis because it wasn't invented yet? How clueless would Trojans have to be to not even take a look inside a wooden box of "enough space to fit an assault team" proportions? How clueless did Greeks had to be to leave a defenseless team of warriors in the horse, at the mercy of Trojan stupidity?

In short, Trojan horse was not ment to be. Yet, the idea of "Trojan horse" is alive and kicking. Meet Ariel Sharon. One of the most celebrated heroes in Israeli history. One of the most capable generals Israeli army ever had to offer, the man behind some of the most crucial victories of Israel Defense Forces. Co-founder (with Har-Zion) of the famous counter-terror Paratrooper Unit 101. Inspirer of the movement to settle Judea and Samaria. Co-creator of the major right wing Likud party. National political leader. Prime minister. Nation's savior. A living legend. Arik Sharon, the Man and the Steamer.

From the beginning Sharon's ambitions were very big, and he never was right- or left- wing. For example, in the beginning of his career he almost created a party by unifying whatever he was organizing at the time with radical left wing party of the time. That party eventually backed out after realizing who they are dealing with. So he joined Likud instead.

But long before that he was a soldier of Hagana. Being led by left wing ideologists Hagana was acting against Etzel and Lehi, the other two jewish military organizations of the time. This activity culminated in the sucking of Altalena, weapons-filled ship brought in by Etzel in the midst of the first war with Arabs. During the incident Hagana ("Palmah" at the time) soldiers were ordered to fire on Jewish sailors on the ship. To stop the bloodshed, trying to prevent war between brothers, Etzel soldiers laid down arms without resistance. Name of commander of soldiers that fired on Altalena was by the way Itzhak Rabin. Etzel veterans say if the ship wasn't sunk the entire Jerusalem would be in our hands in 1948...

Another big "activity" of Hagana was so called operation "Season" (1944 - 1945) aka "the hunting season". There was the Big Season, during which Hagana operatives kidnapped undercover Etzel operatives and handed them over into hands of British army. At that time Sharon was going to join Hagana, but did not do so because his father asked him not to. There was also the Little Season. During Little Season Hagana soldiers were only beating up and torturing Etzel and Lehi activists. According to Ben-Ami Zamir, still alive today, Sharon was head of one of such "assault" groups. He walked everywhere with his group and hoe's handle in his hands. Ben-Ami was "lucky" enough to be personally beaten with that handle by the future hero of Israel. Sharon simply showed up at the coffee house he was in, asked for some lemonade, and when Ben-Ami bended to get some, stroke him down. His group then trashed the coffee house, and escaped in a truck...

I wonder if he still keeps that club around.

King of the Hill

Today's power pyramid in Israel is a little strange. There is the prime minister, who has all the power, and there is the President, who has no power. What is he good for then? A lot!

For some dark and deep reasons, the most ranked (but not the most powerful!) men in (any) country automatically become target for cult of personality. People like to have someone to look up to. Especially if the position was obtained through some obscure rules, rather then elections. Mystery. Almost divine intervention.

When the most ranked man is also the most powerful, problems emerge. Power + Cult of Personality = Dictatorship. USA for example is always sitting right on the edge of that cliff. If not for centuries strong democratic traditions, and "no third term" rule, money with face of Bill Clinton would be the least of our concern right now. Still shadows of president clans hunt American politics. Kennedy's clan. Bush's clan. Clinton's... wife. And so on.

Other countries fall right down the cliff on the very first step. Russia is a great example of how the most ranked/powerful man amplifies his cult of personality to stay in power. That would be difficult if Putin was a mere prime-minister with a powerless president looking over his shoulder.

In Israel President dodges the bullet of cult of personality for the prime minister, and the fact that he is powerless is the best invention of Israeli system, and the best obstacle against people that want to stay in power longer then they should.

Speed Bumps

So, according to some British scientists, light does go slower then light. Sort of. They say they detected that light slows down a bit, after a while. Of course, this will not remove any paradoxes, only add some. After all, the slowing, as I understand, must be relative to the light speed, not me and you. Hum.

I wonder if it is possible that other constants steer of their course. For example Pi or e. Say, at some point, integral of e^n will no longer be equal to itself + C. Or equation who's only imprecision is Pi would be less exact with respect to what it tries to describe, then the precision of Pi itself.

And maybe light doesn't slows down after all.

"Will Aim For Money"

I have an idea. Someone should pass a law banning people from working as full time journalists, writers and poets.

Take science for example. Scientist does some experiments or computations, and writes a paper. That paper will be published (if it is good) because it is written by a professional in what the paper is about, not by a professional in writing a "paper". If that same person was spending most of his day writing something, he wouldn't be called a scientist, but a charlatan, a daydreamer, a profane... Unless he gets paid. Then he becomes a writer.

I say something smells here. Writers that know how to write but have no idea about things they are writing are like mercenaries - they shoot for fun, but aim for money.

All we need is people who actually know something from their professional experience (be it politics, travels, whatever). Not everybody, just the tiny percentage that has the talent. Then we will have much fewer books and newspapers. Much fewer useless books and newspapers.

And they will be worth reading.

How wonderful it is...

Amazing how people always miss the main point, and just repeat, thoughtlessly, after others. On the title page of "Anne Frank Center" there is a quote from her book:

"How wonderful it is that nobody need to wait a single moment before starting to improve the world"

On the website only the bold part is present, I just happen to remember the rest. But the missing part changes the meaning completely! She wasn't leaving us instructions about what to do. The most amazing thing about what she said is, to me, how happy she was about her discovery. Lets not kid ourselves. Everybody knows that about the world without Anna's help. Nobody cares.

Imagine Apollo 11

Talking about movie sets (see the post below).

There is a conspiracy theory which states that there was no Apollo 11 landing on the moon. It was, the theory claims, staged by Stanley Kubrick, appropriately the guy who shut the "Space Odyssey".

A friend of mine got me thinking. If there was no landing, then how come Soviets never said anything? The telescopes were good enough to confirm or deny the landing. The Soviets sure as hell must have monitored the entire event. And there is no chance on earth they would have let the "capitalist empire" to get away with winning the space race without actually winning it.

Sure enough, Soviets reported the landing. Not even a peeps came from the TV when it was airing photos of American astronauts making their big step for humanity. Not a peeps. Uncle Sam won. We give up.

Not so fast. Turns out, there is a theory Gagarin never went to space too. He was chosen for his smile over the first pilot, Titov (indeed, you don't have to be a pilot to be an actor), got a movie star shot next to rocket, smiled, said "poehali !", and the rocket was lunched. By that time, soviets have already lost dozens of dogs and several pilots trying to beat the Americans. They needed a victory. They could get pictures of taking off rocket easy enough, it just kept falling back after a while. Can be a problem, if you need to show pilot smile after successful landing. So, Gagarin never stepped inside.

Now imagine that Americans found out about this. Imagine, they decided to get even. Imagine, they came to Soviets and said. "Look. You got your movie. Fine. Now let us do ours. Or else."

Just imagine.

There are no evil deeds 2

Pictures of dead leader of chechen rebels, Mashadov, all over the web. Russian authorities report that he was killed in a besieged bunker from a friendly fire by one of his own bodyguards. Maybe he should have hired lifeguards, or something.
Very soon after Mr. Putin proclaimed that warriors that killed Mashadov should get medals.
I really want to watch him clipping the medal to the bearded pal's heroic Muslim chest.

UPDATE 1: now there are reports that Mashadov wasn't even killed in that bunker but elsewere, and that the bunker wasn't even a bunker but a basement. Or maybe they should call it a movie set?

UPDATE 2: undisclosed source in russian ministry of internal affairs claims that the entire thing was staged. Mashadov, according to him, died of a liver problems.

UPDATE 3: Mashadov's son says Mashadov died in the bunker, but not from bombs. He claims Mashadov died fighting.

UPDATE 4: FSB claims they payed 10 m. $$ for his head. Other reports say he was tortured before killed. I bet.

Funny. So many ways to die. At least, it is one terrorist less.

There are no evil deads. Only evil people.

Reading reports about a raid of two dozens well armed young sportive men on compound called The Bunker, Moscow.

The Bunker is where the headquoters of the Russian National Bolshevik party are located. It is well armored, with an iron door, filled with agitation material, the Bolsheviks themselves, and who knows what else. I am also guessing, in true Bolsheviks party spirit, it is strategically positioned to ease the takeover of the post, the phone, and the telegraph, during the upcoming Bolshevik revolution.

Now, for the irony to live up to it's full potential, one needs to know that "bolshevik" derives from the russian word "bolshe" which means "more". That's because there were more of them, in 1917. The other day it took 25 men to take the Bolshevik Party Bunker. No embrasures were reportedly covered with bunker staff's own bodies in a heroic act of self sacrifice. A shame.

Who were the unsang heroes, cleansing the world of the remnants of the Bolshevik revolution? Depends. They are said to be "concerned citizens in search for their friend, who has disappeared IN (?) the Bolshevik party". Or at least that's how Pravda.ru ("truth" in Russian) puts it. They are also said to be Mr. Putin's young followers from the "Nashi" ("Ours") orde...ganization. The same people behind the "Walking Together" pro-Putin org... whatever. Both sponsored from Kremlin's deep pockets. It is unfortunate that exactly the same people are known as Moscow's infamous skeenheads and football hooligans. Or, as some describe them, the PutinUgen.

So, am I happy that bolshevik's ass was kicked by a bunch of government-sponsored Nazis? It is a mixture of joy and eager anticipation. I am waiting for the Bolsheviks to return the favor.

Holly Jibus, It happened!

Just heard reports that Russian government plans to create "Ministry of Love to Motherland".
I emphasize, this is not a joke.
Knowing Russia, there is only one thing an institution like this is going to do.
Make sure your feelings to Motherland are pure, sincere and lasting, and that you can fucking prove it.
More on this later...

Being a nice guy

Every time I watch or read an interview I can't help but wonder how teethless they come. First, the "right question" is almost never asked. Even the sharpest of all only come that close. And when finally that rare "almost the right question" is asked, and the interviewed (of course) is avoiding the answer, with greater or lesser grace... Journalist just doesn't follows up, passes on to a different question, not pressing the issue, just sliding along.
Well, I guess there isn't much new in what I am saying here.

And yet again, every time I read an article on an issue considered "debatable", like religion the rights of Nigerian lesbians, or whatever, I see the same picture. The authors are almost always very careful to keep things civil, not to offend the other side, even if the other side is, say, a terrorist.
Why is that, I wonder?

I think this is because subconsciously we are assuming that if the other person gets offended, he will never talk to us again. How will we ever be able to conduct another interview? Keep the readers around? It is the Syndrome of Hot Stove.

The problem is that journalists and authors forget they are not here to be nice. The point is not to take the interview or write an article. The point is to uncover, report, and analyze the facts. And one can't do that by being a nice guy.

Why Ministry of Offence?

Because it is about time for the offended to take the offensive.

I have not great intentions for this blog, other then to present my personal point of view on different matters. If you find my postings inaccurate, I will be happy to make corrections to get the facts right. If you agree or disagree with me strongly enough to post a reply, you are welcome to do so, and I will reply were appropriate.

Always,
Your Minister of Offence